Excerpted from an email to my friend Nicole:

“And way more important, probably, I have decided to go to NYC. I agree with everything that you said about me and nurturing who I am — but I was still so anxious and worried, and every time I looked at Elinor or Chad I felt guilty about what they would go through. I had wanted to just get another ticket for Chad to come, but the price was too high and the times were bad for him (he didn’t think he could miss all of Monday for work, which made sense, this being his third week there). So then I decided to just go with as short a time-frame as possible, leaving Elinor with Chad Sat. night and then begging my mom to watch her Sun. night so Chad could actually function at work on Monday. As it stands, I fly out Sat. around noon and return Mon. before noon, so it will be a whirlwind ….

“BUT THEN! my friend Janice read the blog entry and called. She has a free airline ticket and we had planned for her to use it to visit me and Elinor sometime this fall, but she thought it would be fun to go to NYC and take Monday off. I warned her about my non-bottle-taking baby and she is still willing to try it; our plan now is for her to bring E to me in between some of my events so that I can nurse her, and then she and Janice will explore Central Park and other touristy things that neither of them have done yet. I think that I will be able to swing getting Janice out to Colorado in the near future, as well — those tickets won’t be as evil and limited as Chad’s would have been to NYC.

“I feel comfortable with this plan — I’m actually really excited to see Janice. All of the other plans were grating on me. I think that it would have been OK to leave Elinor here, cold turkey, but it would have been very hard on Elinor, Chad, and my mom — and on me. I wish the trip had occurred a month earlier or that I had just known about it a month earlier, because I would have worked with E on the bottle and possibly started her on solids earlier. But the timing was just off — less than two weeks notice, Chad is still new and proving himself at work, and I had planned on waiting a full six months before starting E on those solids, about which I am really excited. In light of all that, I think that this will be the best option — though I have a feeling that traveling with an infant will be a completely new adventure, as well.

“Ugggh. It has been a rollercoaster of a week and now Elinor has her first cold and was up until 12:30 last night, between her weird almost-teething and her stuffy nose. I think I’m emotionally DONE for awhile.

“But I promise you I will take pictures. And yes, it is way more fun to take pictures of Elinor than almost anything else. So I will take pics of her in NYC and I will take pics of me and Matt Damon, if I get to meet him. :)”

And I will. I doubt Matt Damon will be there, but I can hope.